Raising a child is never been easy specially for first time parents ( such as me). Having raised from a third world country (the Philippines) to a Filipino parents, raising a Filipino-Japanese child is a very big challenge to me living in this country. The traits that we Filipinos want to impart to our child, with the Japanese school system and Japanese friends influencing them is raising concerns over the Japanese and Filipinos alike. The one thing I like about them (Japanese system) is the way they handle discipline and implementing them that even the 1 year old’s are already taught to obey (prevalent in nursery and kindergartens) but we also want the Filipino kind of traits to be with our child and they have to learn it from us, right? So a combination of both worlds and both culture is rather hard but possible with the parents effort.
The ability to adapt to such environment ( it took years for me to practice) upon working in countless Japanese companies has been my armor on how to deal with them. Because of the strict implementations of these rules, I want my child to learn the value of communicating and listening at the same time how to treat people with the I-am-perfect-follow-me mentality. And because of this trait, my boy has doubled or tripled the character I possess so you can imagine my attitude three times or more on him. He is a smart boy with desires on how to be perfect, I can see myself in him. Just that he thinks he is bad when he cannot do duties or fails on a task he is about to do. Always want to do things his way and forgetting sometimes that he has to obey not the other way (yes, he wants me to follow his orders hmm). Having anything on his disposal such as games, privileges, and love may cause him to be stubborn and self-centred. We ( his dad and I, talked about our own childhood with very limited resources and parents were not as giving as what he has experienced now). Little by little, our little man will soon face the consequences of his actions so we are very careful on disciplining and explaining to him why he has to be disciplined that way.
I still have a long way to go and more stories and developments as time goes.
Anyway, these are the things we do and I am sharing here how we handle and having positive results however you can add more by commenting below.
Raising positive kids is a big challenge but with hard work and love as the motivation, we will be victorious.
Here are the rules we set at home for our little man;
- No games when he has not worked on his homework first. And an hour is the desired time, no more no less ( dad can decide if he wants to add more though)
- Letting him go through the pains and learn them himself if he won’t listen ( telling him where he gone wrong and assure him the unconditional love even having the mistake)
- Telling him to be responsible enough and think first before doing
- Observe game, television, and play times as much as the sleeping time
- Setting a deadline on each task.
- When at the mall and he wonders with himself not minding us, he has to go home alone ( this trick really helps, he is now very careful not to be out of sight from us)
- Be the role model. Walk your talk.
What kind of discipline you can add? Share your parenting tips on the comments!